Burn and Rave

Apparently designers are making pet accessories to match their human owners’ outfits.  Dog food companies are also making organic products for pets.  The consultant on the news show I was watching all this ridiculousness unravel said that pet trends mirror human trends.  I love my little pooch and spoil him, I admit that.  I even have a couple frumpy sweaters for him and feel tempted to buy galoshes for him (but I can’t find them small enough).  However, I would not spend any earnings I have on extravagant designer bags and most certainly would not consider putting my dog in a Gucci jogging suit. 

First, with designer bags: everyone knows where it’s from, so what’s the fun in carrying it around.  It’s neither mysterious nor exciting nor unique nor down to earth, all of which I like to be.  Then everyone suspects the bag is a fake from China or the back streets anyway, ownership of designer bags only attracts suspicion at best.  Why spend the big bucks on a bag when I could donate the money to a charity like children.org or my church?  Beats me.

Secondly, organic pet food is silly, but designer dog products are even more disgusting.  Children and adults in this world are starving, even in the lush United States of America.  People are struggling to have enough clothese to keep themselves warm this winter and yet these companies come out with these fancy clothes for animals.  What a shame.   Shame on the TV station for giving the supporting companies and consultants air time.  More attention should be paid towards environmental and charitable causes. 

I don’t want to know about where to get my dog holiday gifts.  He could care less.  He’s much happier with a simple chicken breast jerky which he doesn’t have to wait around for the holidays to get.  I want to know how I can recycle my trash in Chicago.  I want to know how I can help my friends quit smoking.  I want to know how open adoption works.  I want to know which food banks are welcoming volunteers.  I want to know where people without health insurance can go to get basic checkups and care.  I want to know this world is becoming a better place for people, not for privileged pets.

My dreams of being a surgeon began to bud last November when no cardiologist I emailed responded, leaving me to turn to cardiothoracic surgeons. In the summer I completed an 8-week internship rotating with the cardiothoracic surgery service at UIH and confirmed that I enjoyed the technical aspect of procedures as well as the pathophysiology of the diseases. Watching the patients heal from open heart surgery was incredible and fulfilling. Now after 8 weeks on general surgery, my eyes opened up to the many other fascinating surgical specialties such as minimally invasive gastrointestinal surgeries (including bariatric gastric bypass), plastics and burn, pediatrics, and surgical endocrinology. I even think I would enjoy general surgery enough to be satisfied choosing it as a career if I do not want to go into a fellowship after 5 years of residency. I dream of being a surgeon and of cutting people open to fix them.  And I dream of being a wise surgeon who knows when not to put people under the scapel.

But all my dreams smattered to pieces as the surgery shelf exam karate-chopped my never-had-a-chance-bum. Now, I think I need to drag my books with me to Florida where I’ll be vacationing with my parents for a week and a half. I want to study them so that I’ll be ready when my school informs me that I need to re-take the exam. But what can I study? There is really nothing I can do to prepare for the test. More surgical knowledge would not have helped me. More real-world knowledge could confuse me. And the pursuit of more medical knowledge would never end. I’m really not sure what I could have done differently to prepare for the shelf. I think a monkey filling out the circles on the answer sheet would score just as well.

I can do nothing but wait, suffer, and endure. Perhaps there is a point to this mayhem afterall, because I know that life as a surgeon is difficult and busy. My life will suffer. However, if the results of the surgery shelf point me away from surgery, I may actually have a chance at a decent lifestyle perhaps as a cardiologist or a rheumatologist.

“At the end of my suffering there was a door.”  ~The Wild Iris by Louise Gluck